How to forgive your partner

Introduction

Forgiveness is a topic that's been explored by philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual thinkers from all walks of life for centuries. But it's also something that any one of us can apply to our own lives. Forgiveness doesn't just have the power to heal deep wounds and provide closure—it can also help you build stronger relationships with people you love. If you're struggling with your relationship right now or feel like it has hit a plateau, here are some ways forgiveness can help:

Pre-forgive your partner.

It's important to understand that you may not be able to forgive your partner right away. In fact, it might take time for you to build the capacity for forgiveness. For example, if your partner cheated on you and broke your trust, it may take several months before you're ready to consider forgiving them.

Instead of holding yourself accountable for something that hasn't happened yet—like failing to forgive instantly—acknowledge that forgiveness doesn't happen in one fell swoop but rather as part of a continuous process over time. This can be especially true when there are children involved or when the relationship is long-term (such as marriage). You will probably need multiple attempts at forgiving before finding success in this endeavor; no one expects perfection from themselves or their partners!

Finally and most importantly: accept that humans make mistakes! While we all strive toward perfectionism in our relationships because we want them flawless now, we must understand our own fallibility as human beings living imperfect lives surrounded by imperfect people who sometimes make mistakes too (even though they don't mean any harm).

Don't forget the other person's good qualities.

Forgiveness is not a one-time thing, but rather a series of steps that you can take over time. Here are four approaches you can use to forgive your partner:

• Focus on the good in your partner and yourself. When you're upset about something someone else has done, it's easy to focus on how hurt or disappointed you feel instead of all the good things about them (and yourself). When this happens, try thinking back over their positive traits until their positive qualities outweigh any negative feelings. Then ask yourself if it's worth holding onto those negative feelings based on what they did wrong in comparison with all the other things they do right!

• Remember why you're together in the first place - love! You probably wouldn't be together if there weren't some deep connections between each other; no matter how much friction there is between two people who love each other deeply enough, those connections will always pull them back together again because they are stronger than any small disagreement could ever be!

Acknowledge things are not perfect, but you're working on them together.

Maybe your partner has a habit of leaving the toilet seat up. Maybe you forgot to pay the cable bill this month. Maybe they've never been interested in exploring new recipes, but would rather order take-out every night of the week.

That's fine—the point is not to be perfect. The point is that you're willing to work on these things with your partner, and that it doesn't matter if one person does more than another or if there are some things about them that bug you sometimes.

You're human after all; we all have imperfections and make mistakes from time to time!

Recognize that no relationship is perfect.

It's not about what you want. It's not about what you deserve. And it's certainly not about how your partner feels in that moment—but rather, how they can get closer to the person they really are and become the person they want to be with.

Forgiving someone doesn't mean forgetting or ignoring their faults; on the contrary, it means acknowledging them and understanding where those faults came from so that you can work through them together as partners (or separately if necessary). Forgiveness isn't just about letting go; it also means being willing to let go of past hurts—even though this will likely be painful at first!

Accept that few of us are entirely free from selfishness and self-serving motives.

As you try to forgive your partner, it's important to recognize that everyone makes mistakes. Few of us are entirely free from selfishness and self-serving motives. As we grow as people, we learn to be more forgiving of others and ourselves. And even if forgiveness is hard, it can become easier if you understand the many ways in which your partner may have hurt you—and why this happened.

Think about how you've hurt your partner in the past and have already been forgiven.

Think about how you've hurt your partner in the past and have already been forgiven.

For example, imagine that your partner cheated on you last year. He broke up with you and moved out of the apartment, but then begged for forgiveness. You forgave him because he was so sorry and promised it was a one-time thing. Now, when he drives by an attractive woman walking down the street or flirts with his co-worker at lunch, he thinks about what a terrible person he must be to think such things about another woman when he knows that his relationship with YOU is so important—and this helps him appreciate YOU all the more!

Accept that forgiveness may not be a one-time act but a process you revisit.

Forgiveness is a process that doesn't end when you pardon someone. You may have forgiven your partner, but it's likely that they will act in ways that trigger your anger again. When this happens, revisit the steps of forgiveness and remind yourself that this is part of the healing process.

Some people find it helpful to write down their feelings about their partner, keeping a journal where they can vent about how hurtful their actions were or how angry they feel at the thought of them hurting others in the future. This exercise can also provide clarity about what specific behaviors need to change for you to be able to move forward as a couple—and whether or not those changes are ones you're willing (or able) to accept from your partner.

Forgiveness can help you stay together and make a relationship stronger.

Forgiveness can help you stay together and make a relationship stronger.

• It will help you feel better about yourself, your partner, and your relationship.

Conclusion

In the end, forgiveness is a process that you will have to go through with your partner. Remember that it’s not something that happens overnight, and that you may need to revisit the process of forgiveness more than once before things start feeling better. With time and patience, though, it can make all the difference in how well your relationship is able to weather future storms together.