How to fix a sexless marriage
Introduction
Sexless marriages are a common problem. In fact, it's estimated that approximately one-third of marriages in the United States go without sex for a year or longer. However, this does not mean that you have to stay in your marriage if it's sexless or unsatisfying. There are some steps you can take to fix things on your own before deciding whether to leave or get counseling (see below).
Increase your physical affection.
One of the most important steps you can take to reignite your relationship is to increase your physical affection. Studies have shown that touching releases oxytocin, which helps you feel more connected and relaxed. It’s also been shown to make people feel more confident and less anxious. If you don’t touch each other outside of sexual intercourse, it means that there is no release of oxytocin in your brains during non-sexual situations—which makes sense considering it's known as "the cuddle hormone."
Touching doesn’t have to be strictly sexual (although it could be). You can give each other back rubs or hold hands walking down the street on a date night. Don't let society define what counts as “appropriate” forms of physical affection; if it feels good for both parties involved, then go for it!
Practice touching your partner more often, even if you don't make any kind of move.
A touch can be as simple as holding hands or giving your partner a hug when they come home from work. It's an easy way to connect and show that you're interested in your partner's day.
Touching each other creates a chain reaction in your brain that leads to desire and arousal. Your body releases hormones like dopamine, which makes you feel good about yourself, and oxytocin, which helps bond with people you love. Touching also creates feelings of intimacy and closeness—two things that are often lacking in sexless marriages!
Touching each other creates a chain reaction in the brain that leads to desire and arousal.
Touching each other creates a chain reaction in the brain that leads to desire and arousal. Touching is a way of communicating love and affection, but it can also be a way of expressing sexual interest. As you touch your partner's body, you create an emotional bond between the two of you. If your partner doesn't feel comfortable with being touched in certain places or ways by you, they may be having some trust issues with their body image or past sexual trauma that needs to be addressed before any physical contact can take place on their part.
When you make physical contact with your partner, it stimulates the release of oxytocin which is known as "the bonding hormone" because it helps us feel safe around others by reducing our fear response when we're close to them (this is why cuddling after sex feels amazing). Oxytocin also makes us feel love towards another person and has been shown to increase feelings of closeness between couples.
Try giving some hugs or gentle back rubs when you're not feeling very sexual or when you're in the middle of an argument.
A hug or back rub can be a great way to show your partner some love. When you're not feeling very sexual, these gestures can help bring a little more intimacy into the relationship. Or, if you're in the middle of an argument and feeling angry with each other, give each other a hug so that you can feel close again.
Start hugging while still in bed.
Hugs are a great way to connect. They can be non-sexual, but they still work. They help you feel more connected to your partner, and they may even help you feel more connected to yourself. And that feeling of connection is important for creating intimacy in marriage, which leads us back again to sexless marriage fixes.
Have a shower together.
Take a shower together. This doesn't mean you have to get naked and get in the shower, but it does mean that you both need to be there. It can be fun and romantic, but even if it's not totally enjoyable, it will still allow for some physical connection that may trigger your husband's desire for sex (in addition to other things).
Before you start having sex again, make sure you have enough time. A quickie isn't going to cut it here. You'll want at least an hour or so when neither of you has anywhere else to go and no pressing responsibilities like kids or work looming over your shoulders. If possible I'd recommend picking a time when both of your schedules align so neither one feels rushed or pressured by their responsibilities outside of the marriage bed.
Make sure all bodies are clean before getting into bed: showering beforehand is ideal but taking a bath together will also suffice if showers aren't an option at this point because they've stopped working or whatever reason will do too!
Go back to kissing regularly, especially outside the bedroom.
Kissing is a great way to connect with your partner, and it doesn't have to be confined to the bedroom. Kissing can be a great way to show affection and love in general, but it can also help build sexual tension. Kissing is such a powerful tool that some people use it as part of their foreplay routine before starting sex.
Kissing also has other uses outside of foreplay; one thing you can do while kissing is pull away from each other at the end so that they are standing across from each other in front of the bed instead of next to each other on top of it (or wherever else). This will make things feel more like an actual date and less like something where one person isn't sure what's happening next or even if there will be another moment together afterward!
Ask for a massage, and return the favor.
One of the most common causes of a sexless marriage is a lack of physical intimacy. If your partner has been slacking on the lovemaking, you can try to get them in the mood by giving them a massage. Massage is one of the best ways to reconnect with your spouse and can be used as foreplay to make sex more enjoyable.
It's important that both parties agree on how they want their bodies touched before beginning any massage session. A good way to start off is by asking your partner what part(s) of their body they would like you to focus on during your massage; it's also important for each person involved in this process that their expectations are realistic so there aren't any awkward moments later on when things don't go as planned!
Remember: always start slow—people are weird about touch sometimes! It might take some time for both people involved in this process before getting comfortable enough with another person touching them intimately; but once everyone feels relaxed enough with one another then everyone will benefit from these sessions together afterward!"
Cuddling is another great way to increase physical touch without necessarily making love.
Cuddling is another great way to increase physical touch without necessarily making love. Cuddling has been shown to help couples feel more connected, sleep better, and reduce stress levels. According to a study from the University of Montreal, the simple act of hugging can lower a person's heart rate and blood pressure by up to 20 percent!
Spend time looking into each other's eyes.
One of the best ways to reconnect is by looking into each other's eyes. It can be as simple as having dinner together, or it could be a more intimate moment like when you are making love. When you look into each other's eyes and make eye contact, this helps re-establish trust. You'll be able to see the love in each other’s hearts and souls once again.
When we look into another person’s eyes, we feel connected with them on an emotional level; however, when we look away from one another's gaze too soon—that disconnection causes fear and lack of trust within ourselves as well as our partner(s).
Watch a romantic film together.
Watch a romantic film together.
Romance is key to keeping the spark alive, so don't underestimate the power of this simple suggestion. Watching movies together can be a great way to reconnect with your partner and reinforce some of those good feelings from early on in your relationship. A great movie will leave you both feeling good about yourselves and each other, which can make all the difference when it comes time for sex.
Sexless marriages are often a function of having become disconnected from each other, so reconnect in non-threatening ways and then watch what happens!
As you may have already discovered, the best way to get more sex in your marriage is to simply touch each other. Physical affection is important because it creates a chain reaction in the brain that leads to desire and arousal. It's also a great way for spouses to reconnect with each other. Touching after being separated for an extended period of time can lead to more sex!
Conclusion
Hopefully, these tips and suggestions have given you some ideas for how to spice up your sex life. If you're feeling stuck in your relationship, try out some of the above and see what happens!
