Are you trauma bonding with a narcissist?
Introduction
Trauma bonding is a type of trauma bonding that occurs in abusive relationships. In this form of bonding, the victim becomes emotionally attached to the abuser due to feelings of fear, obligation, guilt and shame. Trauma bonding can be difficult to understand when you're in an abusive relationship with a narcissist or other toxic personality; but it's important to understand what's happening so that you can break free from their manipulation and finally have your own life back!
What is Trauma Bonding?
The phenomenon of trauma bonding occurs when a person feels intense emotional attachment to someone who has abused them. You can think of it as emotional abuse that happens through the use of power in your relationship.
It’s been used to describe situations where someone is held hostage by their captor, but it also applies to relationships where one partner uses his or her influence over another for nefarious purposes.
In general terms, a trauma bond can form between two people when there is an imbalance of power in their relationship and one person abuses this advantage to gain control over the other. This can happen intentionally or unintentionally (by accident).
Because the abusive person holds all the cards in these situations—they have all the control and say over whether you live or die—it can be easy for them to manipulate you into feeling like they need you more than anything else in this world: love and affection are given at every turn; you begin questioning whether what’s happening is right or wrong because this person has convinced you that everything they say is true; etcetera…
What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental illness and one of the most common personality disorders. People with NPD have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration and attention, according to the Mayo Clinic.
People with NPD may be unable to see other people as having needs or feelings that are different from their own, so they can be manipulative or insensitive. They often lack empathy toward others and may not feel guilty about hurting or taking advantage of them — even when it is obvious that they do so. Narcissistic abuse can take many forms: emotional abuse, financial abuse, social abuse and physical abuse.
Do narcissists and empaths trauma bond?
You can be vulnerable to trauma bonding if you:
Have been abused or neglected as a child
Are a highly sensitive person (HSP)
Have the trauma bond with someone who has power over you, like a boss or partner.
If you're an empath, there's another important factor: You may have been born with an innate drive to help others and allow them into your life. It's this desire that makes us so susceptible to narcissists who try to pick us up out of genuine concern for our well-being.
What Activities Can Cause Trauma Bonding?
Trauma bonding can occur as the result of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. It’s also possible to develop a trauma bond with someone who emotionally neglects you or financially exploits you. The most common type of trauma bonding is caused by verbal abuse, where the narcissist uses intimidation tactics or threats to make you feel afraid of never seeing them again if you don’t comply with their demands. Trauma bonding can also happen when there are threats of violence against your children or pets (this form is referred to as “intimidation-based trauma bonding”) that are meant to control your behavior.
How Do You Stop Trauma Bonding with a Narcissist?
Identify what you are doing that is contributing to the trauma bond.
Change your behavior and actions, such as:
Stop engaging with the narcissist as much.
Take care of yourself and make sure you don't spend too much time with them.
If possible, stop talking to them altogether for a while until you feel better about things and are less vulnerable to their manipulative tactics.
Be mindful of your thoughts when interacting with people who are traumatizing you in any way (including narcissists). Avoid negative thoughts about yourself or other people that may come up during conversation; instead think positively about yourself and others around you so that it becomes easier for yourself not get caught up in their toxic energy again soon after breaking free from it! It's okay if there are some residual feelings left over from being hurt by someone else before they went off on another rant or outburst against someone else again...just try not let these bad feelings influence how happy & healthy our lives will be now!
Our brains are hard-wired to bond with people that are dangerous to us, due to our natural instincts as a species.
Trauma bonding is a normal, human response to trauma. Our brains are hard-wired to bond with people that are dangerous to us, due to our natural instincts as a species.
Trauma bonding is not a choice and it's not something you can just stop doing because you feel like it—it's a survival instinct. It's also not something that all survivors of abuse experience; in fact, only about 10% of survivors experience trauma bonding (but if you do experience it, don't worry! You're in good company).
Is it possible to avoid trauma bonding with a narcissist?
There are several things you can do to avoid trauma bonding with a narcissist. The first step is avoiding triggers. A trigger is an event, object, or interaction that reminds you of your abuser and causes painful memories or feelings of fear or guilt to arise. You may be able to identify some of your triggers by thinking back over the abusive relationship and asking yourself what made it difficult for you to leave your abuser each time. For example, if someone in the relationship was constantly being late for dates or social gatherings because they were always busy taking care of other people's needs first (such as working overtime), then this could be considered a "trigger" event because it may remind you of how much effort was required from others before meeting your own needs—which could prompt feelings such as guilt about leaving the relationship until now...
Trauma bonding can be difficult to avoid in toxic relationships
Trauma bonding can be difficult to avoid in toxic relationships. Once you're in a relationship with a narcissist, it's easy to get swept up in the drama they create. Narcissists tend to exaggerate their stories and present themselves as victims of their circumstances (even when they're the ones who made them), so when you hear about what they've been through—and how it has affected them—it's easy to feel compassion for them. If a narcissist is good at their job, you'll probably find yourself feeling sorry for them after spending time with them—even though deep down, something doesn't seem right about the situation.
So why do we bond with those who hurt us? The answer lies in one of our most basic instincts: survival. Trauma bonding can be explained by understanding how humans react under duress—when faced with danger or impending death, we tend to do whatever we can think of at that moment just so we can survive another day; this includes forming attachments quickly and intensely because there isn't any time left for anything else.
Conclusion
To conclude, you are a trauma bonding expert. You know that your brain is working overtime to make sense of the abuse you've experienced. You know that as a result, your feelings and reactions may be very intense or even extreme. You also understand now why it's so important not to take those emotions too seriously: they're just symptoms of trauma bonding, after all!
With this knowledge in hand, you can use it as a tool for healing and growth—both personally and professionally. Now that you have some understanding of what's going on in your head when you're caught up in this type of relationship dynamic with someone who isn't healthy, who doesn't respect boundaries or basic human rights (like yours), it will be much easier for you not only to navigate these situations but also avoid them altogether if need be!
