The Five Stages of Divorce: How It Develops and Why
Introduction
Divorce is a difficult experience that affects everyone differently. It can be very painful, but it also opens up the possibility of moving on and creating a healthy new relationship. There are five stages of divorce: cognitive separation, emotional divorce, physical separation, legal dissolution and spiritual un-bonding. The former couple often experience a re-bonding (a sense that the relationship is not over). This is an important part of healing from your marriage ending; letting go of blame and negativity will help you move through each stage toward healing. Remember: everyone grieves differently during separation or divorce!
The five stages of divorce include cognitive separation, emotional divorce, physical separation, legal dissolution, and spiritual un-bonding.
The five stages of divorce include cognitive separation, emotional divorce, physical separation, legal dissolution and spiritual un-bonding. The order in which these stages occur varies from person to person but all are necessary parts of the process.
Of course, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to divorce or any other life event that affects us deeply enough to require change in our lives. Some people may need more time than others at each stage; some may skip one altogether while others go through them all in order before moving on to something else entirely (like remarriage).
The former couple often experience a re-bonding, or a sense that the relationship is not over.
It's normal for former couples to experience a re-bonding, or a sense that the relationship is not over. This can happen in any stage of divorce and may last anywhere from a few weeks to several months. Re-bonding often happens when former partners begin communicating again after a period of separation, such as when they meet at the courthouse or exchange emails about child support payments.
It's important not to mistake re-bonding for reconciliation; it doesn't mean that you're ready or even willing to reconcile with your ex-spouse at this point in time. However, if both parties are open and willing to discuss issues related to their divorce (or other topics), then there could be benefits from having these conversations during this time frame:
You may realize that some issues were more important than others--and this realization can help inform future decisions about whether or not you should reconcile with one another
You might learn more about why things went wrong between the two of you
This is a time to let go of blame and negativity.
This is a time to let go of blame and negativity. You need to stop holding on to the anger, resentment and bitterness that you may have been carrying around with you since your divorce was finalized. You may have blamed yourself or your ex for how things turned out in the marriage, but now it's time to let go of those feelings if they aren't helping anything at all.
It's also important not to blame other people for what happened in your marriage or for causing any problems with your children during this transition period as well - especially if they weren't even around at the time! It can be tempting sometimes when talking about our divorces with others who haven't been through them yet (or ever) because we think their reaction will make us feel better about ourselves: "Well thank goodness my ex-husband wasn't like yours!" But instead of focusing on negativity like this, try instead focusing on positive things that happened during those relationships such as good memories from vacations together before kids came along; fun times spent laughing at silly jokes while watching movies together; etcetera...
Remind yourself that this will pass.
Remind yourself that this will pass.
Divorce is a temporary state, not a permanent one. Even though you may feel like your life will never be the same again, know that it will get better and you'll be happier in the future. You'll eventually move on with your life and find someone who loves you as much as they did before or even more so.
You may be able to move through them more quickly if you understand what to expect, or take steps to move through each stage toward healing.
You may be able to move through them more quickly if you understand what to expect, or take steps to move through each stage toward healing.
Denial: The first step in dealing with divorce is not denial, but rather shock and disbelief. You might feel numb and disconnected from the situation, which can make it difficult for others around you who want answers about what happened or why things turned out so badly.
Anger: When denial wears off, anger often sets in as well--at yourself (for getting into this situation), at your partner (for causing so much pain), at friends and family members who didn't see what was happening until it was too late...the list goes on!
Bargaining: Bargaining involves making deals with yourself or others: "If I eat healthy every day this week then maybe my husband won't leave me"; "If I do an extra load of laundry today then maybe my ex-wife won't take away visitation rights from our children"; etcetera ad nauseum...you get the idea!
This can be very painful, but remember it also opens up the possibility of moving on and creating a healthy, new relationship.
If you are going through the five stages of divorce, it's important to remember that you're not alone. Many people have gone through this and found happiness again. You will too!
The first stage of divorce is often called shock or denial because it seems like such a shock when your spouse leaves you for another person, especially if they have been with you for many years and had children together. You may feel like everything has been taken away from you in an instant, but this feeling eventually passes as time goes on and more information comes out about why they decided to leave in the first place (e.g., an affair).
When people begin dating again after getting over their initial shock from being dumped by their spouse who suddenly decided they didn't want them anymore (or vice versa), there tends to be two types: those who jump right back into dating life with reckless abandon; and those who take things slowly because they don't want another failed relationship experience like before where someone cheated on them multiple times before leaving altogether without any reason given except maybe "I'm not happy anymore." Either way works fine--it's just important not rush into anything right away since there could still be feelings leftover from previous relationships which could affect current ones negatively if acted upon improperly without proper preparation beforehand
Everyone grieves differently during separation or divorce.
Grief is a normal reaction to loss. It can be expressed in many ways, including anger, sadness, guilt and depression. Grief may be triggered by certain events such as anniversaries of a loved one's death or birthdays.
It's important not to rush through these feelings; instead allow yourself time to work through them at your own pace.
Conclusion
As you move through these stages, remember that each one is a natural part of the process. You may be able to move through them more quickly if you understand what to expect, or take steps toward healing. The Five Stages of Divorce: How It Develops and Why will help you understand what's going on in your mind and heart as you go through this transition.
