It's Not You, It's Them: the characteristics that drive people apart in relationships.

Introduction

The first step in identifying a problem is admitting that you have one. If someone is not treating you the way that you deserve to be treated, then it's time for them to go. The following traits can be signs of an abusive partner or relationship:

Narcissism

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies of success and power, an excessive need for admiration and an unwillingness to be seen as imperfect. People who are narcissistic are often described as arrogant, boastful or pretentious. They also tend to exaggerate their achievements or talents while insisting on special treatment.

Narcissists need constant praise and attention to feel good about themselves; they may even become angry if they don't get it! If you criticize someone who has this disorder--or refuse them something they feel entitled to--they will often react with rage or cold detachment (or both).

Lack of emotional availability

Emotional availability is the ability to be emotionally open and engaged with another person. It's a key component of healthy relationships, because anyone who doesn't have it won't be able to have a deep connection with you.

Emotional unavailability is often a sign that something else is going on in the relationship--either they are not ready for a relationship (maybe they're still grieving from their last one), or maybe there is something else going on in their life that makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe opening up about themselves. This could include mental illness or trauma; however, it can also simply mean that your partner isn't capable of being intimate with other people because they lack self-esteem or confidence around others in general (which could stem from childhood).

Immaturity

Immaturity, or the inability to grow up, is one of the biggest problems in relationships.

Immature people are selfish and self-centered. They don't care about your feelings or needs; they only think about themselves and what they want at that moment. They don't want to do things with you, or even be around you if it's not convenient for them (this can apply to both partners). Immature people also tend to have unrealistic expectations about life--they expect everything will always go perfectly according to their plan without any setbacks along the way; when something does go wrong, they get angry easily because it wasn't supposed to happen like this!

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem can be the cause of jealousy, poor communication and a lack of trust. It can also lead to an inability to empathize with your partner's feelings or problems. If you have low self-esteem, you may feel like your partner doesn't have time for you because they're always focused on their own needs. You might think that they don't care about what makes your day go smoothly or what matters most in life because they don't do enough for you (e.g., helping around the house).

If this sounds familiar then know that there are ways around this problem! The first step is realizing how important it is for each person involved in a relationship--and especially those who love someone with low self-esteem--to show them how much value we place on them as individuals worthy of respect and attention regardless of our own personal situation at any given moment."

Emotional manipulation

Emotional manipulation is a form of control. It's a tool used by narcissists and sociopaths to get what they want, often at your expense. Emotional manipulators don't have any concern for your feelings or wellbeing; they only care about getting their own way and making sure that you feel bad about yourself in the process.

Emotional manipulation doesn't have to be intentional--in fact, it usually isn't--but it can leave lasting damage on your self-esteem regardless of whether or not you believe what's being said about you is true (which it probably isn't). The important thing here is recognizing when someone is trying to manipulate your emotions so that you can avoid this type of toxic relationship in future relationships!

Jealousy

Jealousy is often a sign of low self-esteem and insecurity. When you don't feel good about yourself, it's easy to assume that someone else will take your partner away from you. You may also be jealous because you don't trust your partner or are afraid they'll cheat on you--and this can lead to other relationship problems.

Jealousy can also come from a place of fear: fear that the person who makes us jealous will take what we want for ourselves (like attention) or even our lives! This kind of jealousy usually comes from childhood trauma and unresolved issues with our parents/caregivers/role models; it helps us avoid these feelings by projecting them onto others instead so we don't have do deal with them directly ourselves."

Workaholics or other priority conflicts.

Workaholics or other priority conflicts.

If they're always working, it's important to have a healthy work-life balance. If they don't make time for you, they're not worth your time. You deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. If someone is working all the time, this could be a sign of low self-esteem or even depression--it can also show that they are putting their job before everything else in their life, including relationships with friends and family members (you).

You deserve someone who doesn't have these traits.

You deserve someone who doesn't have these traits. You deserve to be with someone who is mature, emotionally available, and supportive. You deserve to be with someone who has a healthy sense of self-esteem--not the type that makes him/her feel like they have something to prove. You deserve to be with someone who isn't jealous or manipulative in order to get what he/she wants out of life or from you specifically (i.e., money). And finally: you deserve a partner who values your needs as much as his own; one who won't put his career before yours because it means more money for him; one who doesn't need validation from others because he already feels good about himself; someone whose first instinct isn't "what's in it for me?"

Conclusion

The bottom line is that if you've been in a relationship with someone who has one or more of these traits, there's no need to feel guilty or blame yourself. You deserve someone who doesn't have these traits, and this blog will help you find them!