Introduction

Marriages can be difficult. They are long-term commitments that require work and communication between the two people involved. If you're unhappy in your marriage, it's important that you realize that this is normal and happens to many couples. However, there are things you can do if you feel like your relationship isn't working out as well as it should be. If you need help with improving your marriage or getting out of one altogether, here are some tips on what to do when faced with an unhappy marriage:

Talk about it with your spouse.

• Talk about the issue.

• Don’t blame your spouse for the issue, and don’t make them feel as if they are at fault for it. Instead, try to discuss it without pointing fingers or assigning blame.

• Avoid bringing up past issues that may be related to the current problem at hand—this will only make things worse and cause more problems in your marriage.

• Don’t be defensive; listen carefully to what your spouse has to say and try not to react right away (or even at all). If you find yourself getting defensive, stop talking until you can calm down enough so that both of you can speak calmly and rationally again.*

• Don't bring up other issues during this conversation—it's important that both of you focus on one particular problem at a time when discussing these issues with each other so they're easier to solve later on down the road after having some good discussions!

Talk to a counselor.

It's important to have someone to talk to, especially if you're struggling in your marriage. A counselor can help you work through problems and give you ideas for making things better. Counselors are trained professionals who listen carefully and provide support and advice. They don't judge, criticize or tell their clients what they should do.

Counselors can help both married couples as well as people who are separated or divorced from their partners. If one spouse won't participate in counseling sessions, the other person may also see a counselor separately; this is called "couples-based" therapy (also known by other names such as marriage counseling or relationship counseling).

Look at the times you feel happiest in your relationship.

Take a look at the times you feel happiest in your relationship.

• What did you do?

• How did you feel?

• Who was involved?

• What specific memories are in your mind?

Once you've identified your happiest memories, ask yourself if there is something interesting or unique about them that can be applied to other areas of your life. If so, try to think of ways in which to recreate those positive experiences.

Focus on what you can control.

• Focus on what you can control.

• Don't blame yourself or your spouse.

• Don't blame your past.

• Don't blame the kids.

• Don't blame other people, including politicians and celebrities who are not in your life at all (unless they've done something to harm you directly). This means going easy on yourself when it comes to the economy and weather, too—you can't control either of those things!

• Finally: When discussing an unhappy marriage with another person, refrain from using terms like "happily," "unhappy," "sadly," etc., unless they are qualified by contextually appropriate modifiers such as "my happy marriage" or "my sad car accident."

Take time for yourself.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by your marriage, it's important to take some time for yourself. If your partner is in a bad mood, avoid engaging in a conversation about their feelings. Instead, find something that will help you relax and make yourself feel happier. Here are some ideas:

• Go for a walk

• Take a bath

• Go to the movies (or watch one at home)

• Get a massage

• Read a book or magazine that makes you happy

• Do something fun with friends or family members

Be aware of your feelings, and work through them.

If you're feeling unhappy in your marriage, try to be aware of your feelings and not act on them in ways that will cause harm to yourself or others.

• Acknowledge the fact that you feel unhappy. Don't try to suppress your feelings by telling yourself "I shouldn't feel this way." Accepting that you are unhappy can help reduce the stress associated with your situation.

• Understand why you feel like this. Don't blame yourself or your spouse for how you feel—it's natural for people to have different needs from their partners over time, and those differences may cause unhappiness in some cases. Focus on understanding why it happened, so that when the time comes for change (which hopefully it will), both parties are prepared for what lies ahead.

Find out what you need in a relationship, and work on achieving those things for yourself.

It's easy to blame your spouse for being unhappy, but the truth is that you have no control over other people. The only thing you can change or control is your own actions, so if you're struggling in your marriage it's time to look inward at how you can be a better partner and person overall.

If you want a healthy relationship with someone else, then start by getting clear on what exactly it is that makes up the elements of such a relationship for you—and what would make it feel fulfilling, satisfying and worthwhile over time. This will help shift your focus away from blaming others (or yourself) and move toward working towards what works best for all involved."

Even if you feel lonely or unhappy in your marriage, there are ways to take steps towards improving the situation or breaking away from it if necessary

Even if you feel lonely or unhappy in your marriage, there are ways to take steps towards improving the situation or breaking away from it if necessary.

• Talk to your spouse about your feelings. This is a crucial step to get past any negative feelings that may be holding you back from being happy and achieving the relationship you want.

• Find someone to help work through these feelings together with. Counseling is one way of doing this, but there are other options such as therapy groups or individual sessions with a therapist who can provide insight into problems like yours and help guide you towards solutions.

• Focus on what you can control rather than what might go wrong in the future (e.g., "I'm going for a run after work today instead of making dinner because I need some time alone"). Even small acts like these will give you something positive in which to focus during those difficult moments when negative thoughts about your marriage seem overwhelming."

Conclusion

Marriage is a commitment to your partner, and it’s important that both of you feel like you are in an environment that promotes positive feelings towards each other. If you feel unhappy in your marriage, don’t be afraid to talk about it with your spouse or seek professional help. You may find that by communicating openly and honestly with the person who knows you best – yourself – will help improve communication between the two of you.