Nicholas Purcell Psychotherapist

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Stonewalling in relationships: what it is and how to deal with it

Introduction

If you've ever been in a relationship, there's a good chance that you have experienced stonewalling. This can be a very confusing and hurtful experience for both parties involved, but it doesn't have to be. In this article, we'll talk about what stonewalling is, why people do it, how to treat it and some ways to prevent it from happening again in the future.

What is stonewalling?

Stonewalling is the silent treatment. It's when you give your partner the cold shoulder, refuse to engage with them in conversation and act like you don't care about what they have to say.

It can happen for a variety of reasons: sometimes you're feeling overwhelmed by an argument and you need some time to cool off; sometimes it's because you're feeling hurt or rejected by what your partner has said; other times, it may be that someone is trying to assert their independence by refusing to engage with another person at all. Whatever the reason, stonewalling can be incredibly painful and frustrating for any relationship if not dealt with properly—and as such it's important that all parties understand how stonewalling works before jumping into conflict resolution tactics.

Why does it happen?

Stonewalling is a way of avoiding the uncomfortable feelings that arise when you try to have an honest discussion with someone. It can be a sign that the other person doesn't want to deal with their own discomfort, or they might want to avoid facing any possible conflict.

In some cases, stonewalling may be a sign that your partner is afraid of intimacy—if they feel too vulnerable or exposed, they might shut down completely rather than risk being hurt by your words or actions. In other situations, stonewalling may come from fear: if you've been hurt in previous relationships and don't trust yourself or others anymore, you'll probably avoid opening up about your feelings altogether (even though this can cause problems in the future).

Stonewalling can also happen because people feel overwhelmed by strong emotions such as anger and sadness; sometimes it's easier for them just not say anything at all rather than face what's happening around them right now!

The four horsemen of the apocalypse.

The first sign that your partner is stonewalling is their refusal to communicate. If they're doing it, you might notice that they avoid eye contact; refuse to answer questions; or seem preoccupied with things other than the conversation at hand. If you're in the middle of an argument and they stop responding, that's probably a good indication that they've pulled back into themselves and are no longer listening.

You might also notice some passive-aggressive behavior when your partner goes silent on you—they may for example start doing tasks around the house without asking for help, or give off a vibe of indifference toward everything going on around them (even if this isn't actually true).

How to treat stonewalling.

Stonewalling is a difficult behavior to deal with because it's so passive and elusive. If you're the one being stonewalled, there are some simple things you can do to make yourself feel better. One of the most important things is to talk about your feelings with your partner: tell them what you need from them, or how their behavior makes you feel. If they're not willing or able to listen or respond positively, then remind yourself that you deserve better than that relationship—and don't give up!

If your partner is stonewalling, try talking about how their behavior makes you feel; if they're unwilling or unable to change their behavior in response (and this doesn't sound like an abusive situation), then it may be time for both of you to move on from this relationship as soon as possible.

Stonewalling is a passive and elusive behavior that can be difficult for people who are not emotionally aware. If you're stonewalling, try talking about how your partner's needs make you feel. If they're not willing or able to listen or respond positively, then remind yourself that you deserve better than this relationship—and don't give up!

For the stonewaller.

Stonewallers, you need to communicate your feelings. You need to be honest about how you feel and why. You need to ask for help when it’s needed, and be able to talk about your problems—even if they’re embarrassing or painful or shameful. You can’t keep everything bottled up inside and expect things will magically get better over time.

It’s also important that stonewallers apologize when they feel they've done something wrong. The more often someone apologizes for their actions, the easier it will become for them in future relationships because there won't be as many issues left unresolved from past mistakes that come back around again later down the line (and cause problems).

For the person being stonewalled.

  • Don't take it personally.

  • Don't give up.

  • Be willing to ask for help.

  • Be willing to leave the relationship if you need to.

Stonewalling in relationships can be addressed by improving communication and combatting negativity in the relationship

Stonewalling in relationships is a form of passive aggression that can be addressed by improving communication and combatting negativity in the relationship. The first step to solving this problem is to understand what stonewalling is, and how it's different from other forms of conflict.

Stonewalling as a term means disengaging from a conversation or relationship. It's often used when someone refuses to engage in any kind of dialogue with their partner. They might refuse to respond when called on, change the subject, or ignore the person they're talking to altogether. The person who stonewalls may do so because they don't want to talk about an issue—or more likely, because they're afraid of having an emotional reaction that would harm their ability to remain calm and rational in response (this often happens when couples disagree on something).

Conclusion

Stonewalling is a harmful habit that can be hard to break. But if you can learn the signs of stonewalling and how to deal with it, your relationship will be stronger than ever before. You can start by recognizing when you're engaging in this behavior and then learning how to respond with empathy instead of anger or frustration.